I have been invited.....

[jhr]

..... to go sailing in the West Country with a couple of esteemed forumites this weekend. They are excellent chaps, and they both hail from the northernmost parts of our beautiful Isles, although, like Granny's breasts, they made the long journey south, many years ago.

This is all spiffing, but I have now discovered that denizens of the north often wear some form of skirt when entertaining visitors, and I am a little concerned that I may find myself on board a boat with a couple of blokes dressed in female attire.

Are my fears reasonable, or am I worrying about nothing? If the former, can anybody suggest some suitable attire for me to wear that, whilst retaining an aura of masculinity, shows that I too am in touch with my feminine side?

 

[nickd]

To reassure them that you are on their wavelength, do not insult them by imitation unless you are also from North of the border, rather get yourself a nice pair of speedos' and a t-shirt preferably pink and both items at least three sizes too small (you may already have these if not you may be able to borrow them of sons or daughters).
Good luck

 

[jimmcgee]

12 cans a tennents and the bottle of johnny walker and you,l be fine

and its called a kerry ooot.

 

[Baggy]

also dont forget to grow a little moustache and walk around like a tea pot
ie/ one hand on hip other in the air like a swans neck

Hope this helps..

 

[Boomshanka]

..... can anybody suggest some suitable attire for me to wear that, whilst retaining an aura of masculinity, shows that I too am in touch with my feminine side?

No question,,, it has to be a mankini

 

[Sgeir]

........... can anybody suggest some suitable attire for me to wear that, whilst retaining an aura of masculinity, shows that I too am in touch with my feminine side?

Why not wear your own traditional dress?

 

[jhr]

I am a firm adherent to the principle espoused by (I think?) Sir Thomas Beecham, namely that one should try everything once - except for incest and Morris Dancing

 

[Sgeir]

Very good....

 

[Downsman]

There's a posh chandlery on the Hamble that sells sailing jackets from the "Yohoo Sailor" range. They have gold sequins instead of reflective strips and the built in harness 'lifts and separates'. You'd look the bizz in one jhr, I'm sure..

 

[wotayottie]

..... to go sailing in the West Country with a couple of esteemed forumites this weekend. They are excellent chaps, and they both hail from the northernmost parts of our beautiful Isles, although, like Granny's breasts, they made the long journey south, many years ago.

This is all spiffing, but I have now discovered that denizens of the north often wear some form of skirt when entertaining visitors, and I am a little concerned that I may find myself on board a boat with a couple of blokes dressed in female attire.

They arent northeners - they are foreigners, and barely civilised ones at that. But you should be OK with a stock of Mars bars for deepfrying. Dont forget the ear plugs - they might bring the tormented cat with them.

 

[Tintin]

If it is Cornwall you are going to you could of course wear a cornish tartan skirt, and it is Ok to have a tub of vaseline and put it on you butt if you go cornish pilot gig rowing, so you should be fine.

 

[bobgoode]

Blaser, club tie and duck trousers. Oh and don't forget the cap.

 

[SimbaDog]

If sailing in Devon waters it is traditional to dress like this:

 

[jhr]

Thanks, everyone, for your suggestions.

I've now been told, by one who knows, that I should also make sure I have my "Jeely-piece" with me at all times.

I am now seriously worried.

 

[FullCircle]

If its the 2 gentlemen I met in London for a jug last week, I wish you well.
I am fond of both but they are, by any medical measuring standard, not quite the ticket.

 

[Twister_Ken]

Just take your pinny and your Marigolds for doing the washing-up, and you'll be fine, dear.

 

[jimi]

you'll be fine, if it the pair I'm thinking of, you'll need plenty of money and ear plugs

 

[StugeronSteve]

You'll be fine, unless they start with the pipe "music".

 

[jhr]

A definition of a gentleman: Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes - but refrains from doing so.

PS - How the Devil are you, Steve? I think I saw you on Two Js at half term, as we were passing, but a large mobo intervened just as we drew parallel with A Pontoon and obstructed my view, thus preventing me from yelling insults at you

 

[jimi]

I've got the provisions ... 24 bottles of Sol, 6 eggs, and 8 blueberry muffins.