Bidet on a boat ?

[Snowgoose-1]

Hi
I have a French Au Pair that says she is willing to come sailing with me but insists on the boat having a bidet.

I only have a 24' sailing boat so space is a problem. I've been wracking my brains but the answer came to me yesterday. I thought of converting the anchor locker to become a bidet. I've always thought anchors to be a bit overrated and I could just use marinas for overnight stops. It would mean building a kind of outhouse to make it private but some marine ply and fiberglass could make it the envy of other boat owners.

Has anyone done else faced this problem /
Any tips or ideas would be welcome.

 

[Buck Turgidson]

Just remove the depth sounder when required

 

[harvey38]

You never know when you might need an anchor, engine failure etc.

Tell her to use wet wipes, change her diet or jump overboard to wash her bits!

Bidet? FFS

 

[RunAgroundHard]

Yes, I have experienced this problem. The French Au Pair almost bankrupted me and proved the truism of the three Fs.

 

[harvey38]

Yes, I have experienced this problem. The French Au Pair almost bankrupted me and proved the truism of the three Fs.

Three Fs?

You f*'"'ed her
She f*'"ed off
The she f*'"ed you over?

 

[Slowboat35]

Any tips or ideas would be welcome.

If indeed this is not a wind up (as surely it must be) the answer is pretty obvious I'd have thought. Someone this precious has no future on a boat.
"Au revoir snowflake..."

 

[RunAgroundHard]

Three Fs?

Flies, Floats or the other, rent it.

 

[Wansworth]

We must assume it’s a genuine question .

 

[Irish Rover]

Hi
I have a French Au Pair that says she is willing to come sailing with me but insists on the boat having a bidet.

I only have a 24' sailing boat so space is a problem. I've been wracking my brains but the answer came to me yesterday. I thought of converting the anchor locker to become a bidet. I've always thought anchors to be a bit overrated and I could just use marinas for overnight stops. It would mean building a kind of outhouse to make it private but some marine ply and fiberglass could make it the envy of other boat owners.

Has anyone done else faced this problem /
Any tips or ideas would be welcome.

I too am averse to scrapeing my arse with paper. I solved the problem by putting a T Joint on the pressurised water feed to the tap in the heads and connecting a standard outside shower hose and shower head. Works fine and my ring is happy.

 

[Wansworth]

I too am averse to scrapeing my arse with paper. I solved the problem by putting a T Joint on the pressurised water feed to the tap in the heads and connecting a standard outside shower hose and shower head. Works fine and my ring is happy.

The Japanese have solved this problem years ago why we have to use up so many trees and lug great packs of toilet rolls is a mystery

 

[Stemar]

The Japanese have solved this problem years ago why we have to use up so many trees and lug great packs of toilet rolls is a mystery

What do the Japanese fit to their boats?

I can't help thinking that a boat big enough for a bidet is more likely to be 24 metres than 24 ft. On our 24 footer, I was glad just to have a proper head with a door that could be closed if one was agile enough.

 

[Clancy Moped]

Do you have a pressure washer?

 

[Dellquay13]

Do you have a pressure washer?

It would be either a two person task, or you would need very long arms with the length of the average jet wash lance.

 

[mjcoon]

Do you have a pressure washer?

Is that when a mere bidet amplifies into an enema and colonic irrigator?

 

[mjcoon]

It would be either a two person task, or you would need very long arms with the length of the average jet wash lance.

Ricochet might be a problem, too...

 

[Seven Spades]

Fixed

 

[Poignard]

Do you have a pressure washer?

 

[Davy_S]

 

[Clancy Moped]

It would be either a two person task, or you would need very long arms with the length of the average jet wash lance.

You could probably sell tickets for the event

 

[Concerto]

Funny how I have never seen a bidet on a French yacht (built or owned).